Someone on my staff said to me the other day that she would hate to be one of my kids, that I had such high expectations, they would never be able to live up to them. Well, I guess I do have high expectations of people around me – my kids, my husband, my staff. I gave up on the wider world awhile ago, but I still have HOPES that they will all see it my way, just not exepctations any more.
High expectations, she said. I really think I am a good mom to my kids. I think I have always let them be what they wanted, how they wanted. I express opinions sometimes, keep them to myself more than I want to (especially with my daughter), listen to their ideas, try to set a good example. We didn’t have to be particularly strict when they were growing up, because they were good enough/smart enough not to need a close watch. They got love, support, lots of opportunities to explore who they were, safety.
My kids have turned out just about perfect. I enjoy their company. They’re funny. They choose their friends wisely. They’re smart. They have ambitions and goals. They are democrats.
Would I change anything about them? Maybe a few little things, but none of the things that matter. I wish my son would drink fewer soft drinks. I wish my daughter would take things less personally. But on the big things, they are Mary Poppins perfect. Was it because I had high expectations? Perhaps. Or did they just come that way?
My husband is different in the way he interacts with them. He tends to do too much for them. He has yet to see any fault in about anything they have done. He is their biggest fan (mine too). His example has not been as good as mine, IMHO. But they have learned a lot of good things from him, too. Unconditional love, for one. And that is important.
If it’s high expectations that made my kids who they are today, then that is a good thing.